My apologies for not keeping up. i have had a few good signs of healing, and a couple of really rough days (some physically, some personally). i am going to cover July in this post, and start with August the next post.
The first of July was eventful. The neighborhood i live in really likes fireworks. So much so that they although the 4th was like being in the middle of Thunder over Louisville…but they also decided to test some out the few days before, and of course finish up their stock for the week or so after. Cuddles is not a fan of fireworks, so she was pretty shook up. Casper could care less about them, but he was pretty jealous that Cuddles spent so much time in my lap.
We had a day long conference at the church, which i was blessed to work with. It was my first long day, and although i thought was i was pretty on top of things, by the end of the evening, i started feeling pretty bad. i of course started blaming it on damage to my body from the cancer treatments, but found out later on that week i probably just had the stomach bug going around.
The bigger part of those days was the part that hurts more. i miss daddy. For the past couple of years, when i was sick, he took care of everything, even keeping others updated if needed. But it was just me and kiddos. Every time i got out of bed to let them out, or feed them, or answer the texts/return a call, i thought of him. Glad C&C were there to snuggle and comfort me.
The second half of July was more an emotional and physical rollercoaster. There was the celebration of finishing the radiation treatments! But i was still having trouble sleeping for more than a couple of hours at a time. Food was also really starting to lose it’s appeal. i am not doing well with solid food. Instead of starting to want to eat more, it seems i am going the opposite direction. And although i was very vocal to those around me that i knew my body was not going to bounce back to 100% in three days, in my own head i really believed i should have felt better. My hair was not growing, and my energy level was in the negative numbers.
It wasn’t until after i had been beating myself up, and pushing myself too hard, that i found out the radiation in my body would still be doing it’s magic for a while after the treatments were over. i am looking forward to the day when i turn the corner, and have more energy, and can eat solid foods. Right now i am living on french toast and organic potato chips. The smell of some of my favorite foods makes me nauseous. sigh. Not gaining any weight, but not losing any more either – holding my own i guess. The heat in the 90’s was not helping either.
i have been told that it is usually a year after treatment before some patients start to feel like their old self. Since this is my second go ’round in less than two years, it may even take longer. Only 11’sh months left to go! đ