February 4 – Long Post

Now i know why they call this a journey. i was never very good at marathons, and i am ready to be at the end of this one.

And the length of this post is so long, because i’m trying to catch up with all the appointments, test results, options, etc. It seems things change each day.

After i was cleared from the surgeon, i had my followup with my oncologist today. To me, right now, my biggest concern is controlling my nausea. The team is doing all they can to help me, but they are just as concerned about the cancer. i didn’t really understand why, because my surgery results were clear.

Last time i did this, i finished the chemo-the tumor was gone because of the chemo. That is called a “complete response”.  The term for a person who stops treatment early, and there are still cancer cells in the body, it is called an “incomplete response”. That is me this time. (Just to be clear, even knowing what that means going forward now, i would still do everything the same.)

My current status is that the tumor that started this whole thing is gone. Before surgery, there was still some cancer in my body. It was super small, but it was still there. After, the surgeon said my margins were great. The node biopsies they took (4) were all clear. So YAY! i was prepared for some radiation, which will probably start in a few weeks (i meet with that doctor is 2 weeks). What i had not thought of, and it makes sense now, is why i still needed chemo. However how, what kind, and how much is still up in the air. My oncologist explained that i may still have cancer cells in my body. The chemo is really the only way to get rid of those cells.

As i was explaining everything to dad, it suddenly occurred to me. If there were still cancer cells in my body that we knew about, there is the chance that i have them somewhere else. ahhhh. makes sense. Not excited about it, but it makes sense. Another patient told me that the type of cancer we have has a more than usual tendency to metastasis. That is why they are so aggressive with getting rid of it.

But the one thing that is driving this train right now is nausea. You have all heard this many times, but i have basically been nauseous to some degree since around May 2017. (first sets of chemo, first diagnosis). But now it is out of control. i constantly feel like i’m going to…, you know…, and then all of a sudden, my body is hungry for a short time. Then i get sick again. i am on a 2 week food nutrition thing, basically a glorified BRAT* diet. if that helps my stomach, then we can move forward from there. In my mind, that will also determine which type of chemo i will do.

So if you see me around, and i don’t look like i’m over the moon about the tumor being gone, it doesn’t mean i’m not thrilled.  It’s because i’m already on the next leg of the journey.

*BRAT diet – it is a bland food diet. Bananas, Rice, Apples or applesauce, and Toast.

January 31

…and there was great rejoicing!

Had my visit with my surgeon today. The original tumor is gone! i will still need to do some radiation therapy for followup, and they are going to keep a close eye on me, but all good news! i hope this will give my stomach some time to heal, so i won’t be so nauseous all the time. i have an appointment with my oncologist monday (Feb 4) to discuss my remaining treatments and followup.

January 29-Great News! (long version)

i had surgery last Wednesday, (January 23) and it went great! i know it was from all the prayers, and God moving. There is no other explanation!

During the pre-op meeting with my surgeon, i was still recovering from my respiratory virus, and laryngitis. She noticed i was having trouble with my breathing still, and we also talked about the iv/anesthesia issues i had with my last surgery. The plan was basically to go in for the chip and any tumor that was left, check the lymph nodes and then check the tissue around the original tumor area. If anything looked bad, or there was a question, she would take care of everything then, and probably keep me overnight for observation.

My surgery was scheduled for 7:45am. The first one of the day. (did you know there was a 4:30 in the middle of the night? ha ha) Everyone was great! i had a team that was working to make sure i came out the anesthesia with as little problems as possible. i’m not exactly sure of the times, but we were prepared for a 1-2 hour surgery, with about an hour of recovery before they called my family back. All in all, hoping to get out of recovery, and probably to a room by around 12’sh.

i was out of surgery around 9:30. That time included finding and removing the marker, radioactive seeds, any mass left, double checking the margins to make sure they were clear, and sending biopsies of my nodes to the lab . (Only waiting on the lymph node biopsy. i should get that on thursday-January 31. That will be my first followup.) And they quickly determined i didn’t need to stay at the hospital overnight. i came out of anesthesia better than any other time in my life. i woke up quickly with no real pain. Was able to eat some peanut butter with graham crackers right away without getting sick, and we even picked up some chinese food for me to eat when i got home. However nausea has started back up again, sometimes really debilitation. i am hoping that if i don’t have to do anything else, it will start to fade away as well.

In the meantime i have spent the last few days sleeping, checking to see what my body wants to eat, and general taking it easy. i really want to be done with all this, so i am following doctors instructions very explicitly!

i will be posting on Thursday evening, after i hear what the results of the biopsy are, and if there is going to be any followup treatment. You know, in words of that great philosopher we need to “nip it in the bud!” 🙂

Thanx for the continuing prayer for dad and i. We went to his hearing aid appointment yesterday (Monday, January 28), and when we got home he twisted around to say hi to someone, and rolled right down. Thankfully he went down over by the side steps, so we were able to stand up him up pretty easy. i am not able to lift anything over 5 lbs until cleared, so i helped with my right arm, acting more like something he used to balance on. He is still a little sore today, but nothing a couple of tylenol can’t help. We are both keeping an eye on him right now as well.

Please pray for the clear nodes! Very little, if any, followup treatment. My strength to return quickly, and everything needed to finish this fall into place!

Thank you all again for your prayers! Hoping we are approaching the end of this journey. And starting my next journey!

January 29-Great News! (short version)

i had surgery last Wednesday, (January 23) and it went great! i know it was from all the prayers, and God moving. There is no other explanation!

Going into the surgery, i knew that the best case scenario was that the marker was all that was left, and it was a done deal. But i also knew the worst case scenario was that i could wake up with a masectomy. So i did my best to prepare myself for either outcome. Everyone was great! They got everything done faster than expected, and have a followup with the Surgeon this coming thursday at 4:30 pm to find out if it’s all gone! (pray!)

i came out of anesthesia better than any other time in my life. i woke up quickly with no real pain. Was able to eat some peanut butter with graham crackers right away without getting sick, and we even picked up some chinese food for me to eat when i got home. However nausea has started back up again, sometimes really debilitation. i am hoping that if i don’t have to do anything else, it will start to fade away as well.

In the mean time, i am being very good – following the docs orders very explicitly! Check back on thursday night, i will be posting the results of the biopsy are, and if there is going to be any followup treatment. You know, in words of that great philosopher we need to “nip it in the bud!” 🙂

Thanx for the continuing prayer for dad and i. We went to his hearing aid appointment yesterday (Monday, January 28), and when we got home he twisted around to say hi to someone, and rolled right down. Thankfully he went down over by the side steps, so we were able to stand up him up pretty easy. i am not able to lift anything over 5 lbs until cleared, so i helped with my right arm, acting more like something he used to balance on. He is still a little sore today, but nothing a couple of tylenol can’t help. We are both keeping an eye on him right now as well.

Please pray for the clear nodes! Very little, if any, followup treatment. My strength to return quickly, and everything needed to finish this fall into place!

Thank you all again for your prayers! Hoping we are approaching the end of this journey. And starting my next journey!

January 18 – Surgery news!

Sorry for the delay in posting! Last time i missed a post, it was when i ended up in the hospital, etc. So sorry for any concerns it may have caused. i was actually waiting on some sort of news. Any news. And finally got some today!

i will be having my surgery this coming Wednesday, January 23rd. It is super early in the morning (7:45am) but i’m excited to get it done!

There are two things, besides the surgery of course, that is a specific prayer need:
1-Nausea. It just won’t stop. i am always nauseous, just varying degrees of it. Sometimes it is so bad i can’t lift my head off the pillow. Sometimes i look ok on the outside, but i’m really just trying not to start getting sick. Not sure what is causing it – i have not had chemo for about 5 weeks now, so that isn’t the cause.
2-Surgery meds. My port is on the same side as the surgery this time. The port has always been the one place that works with the meds, chemo, etc. My history shows that when they don’t use the port, i usually come out of the surgery throwing up, or trying to, continuously for about an hour or so. Not good for stitches and fresh wounds.

Someone has asked about helping out with meals or errands. We had a “meal train” last year, and still have it, we just hadn’t put new dates in there yet. Dad and i will go over some of the dates coming up, that need to be taken care of, but really we are hoping that it will be a fast (and non-remarkable) recovery.

i will include a link to the meal train when we add dates to it.

All praise and glory and honor to the One True God! Thank you for your prayers!

January 8, PRAISE JESUS!

Well, as promised, i have some great news! i met with my oncologist yesterday, and asked if we could stop chemo, and go to surgery. The last couple of exams the tumor has been reducing, even though i haven’t had a treatment since December 10 (All praise to Jesus!!). And as you know, my body has not exactly handled this round of chemo well. She said that it was absolutely a possibility. We discussed the different scenarios that could happen, and decided to wait until after the surgery to see what’s next!

This morning i went to my surgeon, and we talked about the surgery. She also noted that the tumor was really small, and wants me to have the surgery as soon as we can. Unfortunately she is booked through the 23, so i’ll probably be scheduled later on this month…unless someone has to cancel, and then i might get bumped up earlier! (prayers!!)

Overall, my body stills feels pretty rough, but all my numbers are good, or at least close to good. Mentally, i feel like a weight has been lifted off me.

The one thing that seems to be holding on, is the nausea. After talking to a few other cancer survivors, i found out it is quite common to feel this way for a while. Well, if i’m going to have it, i hope it helps me lose a few more pounds. (looking for the silver lining, right?!?)

As soon as i have a date for surgery, or any other information i will post it! i will keep to the schedule of posting regularly on Mondays, but we are now in a time where things happen at any time, so there may be other posts in between.

Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement! Dad and i could not have made it this far without you!!

All praise and glory to God, the Great Physician!

December 31, 2018

Happy New Year! Well, it probably is by the time you read this. 🙂 God has been so good in so many ways this past year, there is not enough room to write it all. But i will tell you about what He did for me today. But first, a little catch up from the past week.

When last i posted, i had gotten home from the ER visit, with the diagnosis of RSV. This entire past week, i spent at home, resting, and trying not to cough. Near the end of the week, my voice went away, and now it is back somewhat, but not very clear at all. So i’m still resting as much as i can.

But with all the coughing, i have pulled a couple of muscles, and i still don’t have much of an appetite. So i was not looking forward to getting chemo this morning, knowing i was also going to add side effects to the list later on this week. i really wanted to skip this week and wait until next week but that will put me 4 weeks between treatments again. Also, i do not have a background in oncology, so i don’t want to mess up anything just because i’m getting tired. So my prayer was, God, if it is Your will that i get chemo today, so be it. Just please be merciful.

i won’t go through the whole list of coincidences that had to happen for these next two things, but after being there a couple of hours, a woman came in and told me she was a massage therapist for oncology patients. (What!?! i had heard about them, but had not seen one in two years, so i wasn’t sure they really existed!) So while i was waiting for my blood tests to come back, AND getting some fluids, i was also able to get a back and shoulder massage! Then, just as the massage was ending, they came in and told me my ANC was too low, so i would have to wait until next week to get chemo! yes!

i know i’m not supposed to get that excited about missing a treatment, especially when it is for a medical reason. But i have to be honest, i was dancing my way out of the office! i am hoping that in the next few days my cough will go away, and i will have a few days to strengthen physically before i get chemo next week. (This respiratory thing really knocked me for a loop.)

i have also heard from a couple of my friends today, and they have had praises too! God has really been moving today.

So it looks like 2018 is ending on a good note. Which i hope means 2019 will start on a good note too! It’s been a long couple of years. Yes, i do still have chemo infusions to get, an outpatient surgery, and possibly followup treatments still to come. But God is in control of this experience, and i trust Him. He has been there for everything so far, and i know He will be here for the rest. And if i’m being completely honest, you may need to remind me of those last couple of lines in a few weeks when i get tired of feeling sick again!

So i’m going to finish up 2018 praising Jesus for all He has done!! And starting 2019 tomorrow morning praising Him for all He has yet to do. Not only in my life, but in the lives of many friends and family that need Him to move in their lives. i have a list of people, but i don’t want to put out any limits – so i agree with you in your prayers as we close out 2018 and open up 2019.

To God be the glory!

December 24

What would a holiday season be without at least one trip to the hospital, am i right? Yep! You guessed it. i was able to spend some quality time at one of our local area hospitals this weekend.

About a week and a half ago, dad came down with a respiratory infection, and i took care of him. He actually bounced back pretty quick and i was feeling a little overconfident that i wouldn’t catch it. Famous last words.

It started with coughing, and then i got the fever. It would spike, i would take meds and it would come down. But eventually, it shot up to 101.4 and after 2 days i was unable to bring it down. In fact it got as high as 102.4 before i went to the ER. Long story short – i have rsv. And the doctors said i was still contagious. So i am spending Christmas Eve and Christmas at home wearing a mask, and washing or purell-ing my hands every 10 minutes it seems!

This has also moved my chemo back one week. Yay! Blessing.

So here is where we are: My ribs are sore from coughing, and i am on self imposed voice rest. Every time i talk, i start coughing. Texting and emails are my mode of conversation. We also don’t want anyone to be infected by me, so we’re not letting anyone in the house. i have not done any cooking or baking in over a week. That’s right, no cookies. At least not for now. Dad is taking care of anything that has to do with food or talking to people.

My youngest niece Sara took a picture of us that we were going to include in the Christmas cards this year. That isn’t happening now. So we posted the picture on our facebook pages.

So if you haven’t heard from me lately, now you know why. Praying that you are all having a great Christmas! And remember that Jesus is the reason for the season.

Thanx be to God for His indescribable gift!

December 17

This is my “off” week. That means i don’t get a chemo treatment, and i only go to the doctor if i get dehydrated, or any other issues. So far, it’s all good in that respect. Even though this chemo is different, and it is supposed to be a little easier, there are still some physical issues. Most of them i won’t list here, but the one that frustrates me the most is the weakness and fatigue. When i am sitting or laying down, i feel good! Like i can jump up and do anything. But when i get up, or even walk across the room, my legs and arms feel like i just finished a marathon! Ok, i have never been in a marathon, but i do know people that have, and the way they describe it, sounds a lot like how i feel at times. Should make for an interesting week leading up to my next appointment.

i am scheduled to get my next chemo infusion at 8:45 am next Monday. yes, on Christmas Eve. For the first 5 infusions, the SE didn’t really kick in until Thursday. But this past week, SE seemed to start a bit on Tuesday, more on Wednesday, and so on. And i’m still dealing with more nausea than usual. Praying this is not the beginning of the a new trend.

The good news is that today i am better than i was yesterday. i was even able to take dad to his doctor’s appointment. Which brings me to my selfish request for prayers. Not for me this time, but for a few others.
-Pray for the family that in the last ten days has buried a child that was under two years old, and at the same time, the child’s grandfather was admitted to the hospital. He is still in the hospital, but is doing better.
-Another family buried a teenager a couple of days ago. He had been fighting leukemia for the last nine months.
-And last but certainly not least, my dad. He has somehow acquired a respiratory infection-bronchitis. He is on meds and we are hoping they will help so he doesn’t go into something more serious. (also, since i am starting the time when my WBC is at it’s lowest, so the quicker he heals, the better. )

i am very thankful to have you all praying for those families mentioned. And for my dad. Soli Deo Gloria!