Category: 2-A Little More Info

Heads up. If you want to know just a couple of the things cancer patients can go through, continue reading. If you really don’t want THAT much information, you might want to skip this post! Everyone is different in their treatment, and I won’t get too graphic, but this post will have more info on chemo SE than I have written so far… and I am writing two other posts, much less graphic, but still informative.

Well, one of the chemo drugs is nicknamed “The Red Devil”. Read anyone else’s  cancer blog that has done the AC mix, and the first thing they say is “it lives up to it’s name.”. That it does. The chemo itself is red, and has to be administered by hand. i was (erroneously) under the impression when all the red color was through my system, it was all good. Only the weakness left to deal with. Nope. That happened on Wednesday. On Thursday, i started feeling some soreness in my throat. There’s a med for that. i got it that day, and it said to take it 4 times a day. I made it 3 times and that was it. Each time i took it i felt like I was going to throw up. And my throat was ok, so i stopped. i actually felt kind of good that the SE were going to be so easy the first week. Then my little personal utopia disappeared.

The nausea didn’t stop. Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday was spent in bed. Taking meds that are supposed to stop the nausea, but didn’t. I couldn’t lift my head off the bed. This was a problem, since the chemo has another SE. You are supposed to drink a lot of liquids so the chemo get flushed out of your body. If it stays anywhere for very long, well, you can figure that out. So i laid in bed, sipping and nibbling whatever i could keep down. That was a short list. And it changed hourly. They would be fine, for a few drinks, then no. Then i was crawling to the bathroom every two hours to make sure to get out every drop of chemo i could. There are other SE that were happening in my body, simultaneously, which brought new meaning to the word “multi-tasking”. What would help one, made another one worse. i chose to focus on whatever made the nausea better, and just tolerated the rest. (boy, that made it sound easy! Not.)

Every now and then i would feel really good – almost hungry (I’m sure those were times when people were praying for me! Thank you!!!) And then, hoping i had hit the end of this SE, i would try to actually take a couple of bites of something, and… no. not done yet.  i started calling these the “rollercoaster dips”. You know the feeling – you are up on top of the rollercoaster, you can see for miles, it’s beautiful! Then in a heartbeat, you are hurtling toward the earth, in a metal car with only a rod across your legs to keep you from flying out, and it takes a sharp left in into a dark shaft, bouncing you around until you come out the other side. (for those of you around my age, you may recognize that as one of of the turns on “The Beast” rollercoaster they used to have at Kings Island in Cincy. You’re welcome!)

Somehow, on Sunday, during a few moments of relief, i managed to weigh myself. Just to see. i had lost 12 lbs in the last 6 days. (i went on to lose another pound by monday!)

Fast forward to Monday. i called in the office first thing in the morning, with my “shouldn’t this be over, can we fix this, how much longer” and they immediately scheduled me to come in. i arrived at the office in a wheelchair, and i was a little “out of it.” i know I must’ve looked bad, because the valet at the office took one look at me still in the car, and mouthed “wheelchair?”

Obviously i was dehydrated. But i was also low on a couple of things, one of them being my white count. i had dropped from 10 to 1.7. Then the nurse said something funny…”but this was expected.”  um…it was? It was a full week after the chemo. i had been given the neulasta medicine the day after..the sisters on the commercial have a lobster bake in their back yard..eating corn on the cob…i was not expecting this. What i had read, and chosen to believe, well, was wrong.

Let this be a lesson! Do not trust the internet, or the commercials on tv to accurately portray what chemo and other meds do. Talk to your oncology nurses!! They know the real truth! They live with this every day with their patients – and they will tell you if you ask.

So…the real story is that this time, the 7-10 day window is when a lot can happen. They were a little concerned that my white count was not higher, but were sure it would start picking up by day 10. (Wed). However, just to be sure, i am having a blood test tomorrow to see if the numbers are indeed going to climb. Somehow the fact that what was happening to me was not unheard of, made me feel better mentally.

i was told to “stay away from people that might be contagious” and “if going around crowds, wear a mask.” Well, my body doesn’t really feel like going anywhere yet, so i am spending the 4th on my couch, slowly starting to eat exotic food like jello and potatoes. And building my strength so i will actually be able to walk to the car tomorrow without help. Right now, i am just happy i can eat something! And true to God’s faithfulness, i still have not thrown up. Of course the past few days there was not enough in my stomach to throw up, and my body really wanted to, but no. God is faithful. – so now can we add “no nausea” to the no throwing up prayer?

i would be lying if i said at this moment i want to keep going. i am filled with anxiety that in less than a week we are putting a second dose of this in my system. And most cancer patient blogs say that the third dose is the worst. The SE build with each dose. Not surprisingly, they say the fourth dose is the best, but that is because you know you are not going to get anymore.

i don’t know how people who don’t have God to hold onto does this. i have spent more time with him in the past month than probably in the past couple of years. Granted, a lot of that was “please God, make it stop!” but still, i knew my heavenly Father was there with me. Holding me. Getting me through it. Pray for those who are going through this battle and don’t know Christ.

So this past Monday (June 26) i started my second round. Known as AC. It is a mix of two types of chemo. It has different side effects (SE) than the taxol did. (good news/bad news!). So far I am still able to do work from home. But have several meds to combat SE if/as they become bothersome. Still praying & trusting in God for no throwing up! That is top SE for both chemos. There are 4 doses total, but they are every other week, so this will last about 7-8 weeks.

The tumor was measured Monday as well, and seems to be around 1 x 1 cm now. (Praise God!!) The meds have also helped my hands and feet. Still having some issues so I can’t wear normal shoes yet, but getting better each day! (and continuing to wear my “summer uggs!”)

According to the paperwork on this mix, any full on SE will start tomorrow (Thursday). Taking each day at a time, and trusting in the One Who has already gone before me on this journey! Thank you all for your continued prayers!

i never thought i would be celebrating getting A/C chemo treatments, but YAY! After more meeting and doctors appointments there are now answers and a plan.

First, and most importantly, the tumor has continued to shrink, and is now at about 1 x 1.5 cm. PRAISE GOD!!

Regarding my hands, what happened to me is a reaction to the Taxol not a side effect. It is rare, but not uncommon. i have creams and antibiotics which are helping a lot with the pain i have left. The peeling will continue for a while, but that is not painful.
i have also acquired some neuropathy in my fingers, and half of my feet, which includes the toes. Between the weakness and the numbness in my feet, i walk a lot like Frankenstein, and shoes are not a good thing for me right now. (Good thing it’s summertime!)  i am taking meds to help reduce that, so praying it will go away.

Because of the neuropathy, and the reaction, they have decided to forego the remaining 4 Taxol doses, and we will start the A/C on Monday. That will be 1 dose, every other week, for 8 weeks (4 doses). After then we will move onto surgery for whatever is left.

It is my understanding, that there will be some new side effects, and it will not be an easy 8 weeks, but the reaction i had is Taxol related only. So this shouldn’t happen again.

Thank you all for praying! i have to tell you, i have felt your prayers! Sometimes quite physically! There were many times in the past couple of weeks, when i was in so much pain, and then for a while the pain subsided, and a few minutes later i would get a text from someone saying “wanted to let you know I just said a prayer for you!” How amazing is our God!!

The red rashes on my hands and the pain in my heels were the absolute worst pain!! (But to be fair, i have never given birth, so it might be the absolute second worst pain.)

For four days, i was unable to sleep. Every movement caused pain somewhere. The only thing that hurt more, was the thought that i was going to have another infusion on monday, and it could make it worse. The doctor agreed to cancel the chemo this week.

On Sunday the blisters showed up on my hands. They broke soon after and now there is skin peeling on my right hand. The left isn’t far behind. The weakness in my legs and arms is hard, but hoping that i will regain strength over the next few days.

They are talking about some ways to avoid this reaction again, and i have an appointment with one of the doctors on Monday before my next infusion. i’m also doing what i can to find out what is going on, and coming up, in order to be more able to make informed decisions.

That being said, either continuing on with taxol, or moving ahead to the A/C, the side effects (SE) are only going to increase. The reality is that i may be taking more time off work than i had originally planned at this point.

GOD MOMENT!! i know God has got this. and that is what i’m holding on to. Well, last Sunday my niece came to visit, and brought me this wood plaque. Appropriate, right!? i LOVE it, and put it in my area in the family room where i spend most of my time. As i am typing this post, i realized God was sending me a warning last Sunday -“Heads up! Something is about to happen, but I’ve already got this!”    Amen!!!!

Halfway through Round 1! Yay.

The week of #4 was still pretty rough, but was able to deal better with the side effects by Saturday. However the fatigue was so surprising. i would sit down for a while, and actually feel pretty close to normal, except for no appetite and losing some of my taste of course. But when i would get up, I would take about 3-5 steps, and have to stop or lean against something because of the weakness. So i stayed in a sitting position as much as possible! Thankfully that lessened a little near the end of the day on Sunday. Just in time for Monday, and #5.

Monday-Thursday was pretty much what i expected. Friday I even felt well enough to go into work for an event in the morning. However after a few hours at work, one of the two side effects i had been dreading started up. Neuropathy. It feels like i have mittens on, typing is bit harder, but still looks much better than my writing now! My feet and toes have some of the loss of feeling, so it makes my walking a bit more unsteady; i was told about an otc med to help stop it from getting worse. It won’t start getting better until chemo is actually done, but hopefully i can keep it from getting worse. There are other prescription meds, but their side effects are almost worse than the neuropathy, so praying the otc works! i was also advised to start treating my mouth, as a preventive measure against getting the mouth sores. Hoping it will stop it before they start!

Next week it is memorial day weekend, so my chemo is moved back one day. That means my pattern will be moved back one day. AND i meet with the doctor, so hopefully I will get a report on how much the chemo is working. Praying!

The first week of chemo was fairly uneventful, in the general sense. It was really more of a week for me to start learning about this process. i only had a few little things, but nothing that knocked me off my feet.

The second week i had different effects. That is possible. i could have different ones at any given time – everyone is different. The physical aspect of it was something i wasn’t expecting. At least not yet. in my mind, the first few chemo treatments would be easier. Not encroaching in my daily life much – that was for farther down the road. i really didn’t think about the fact that i am being injected with very strong chemicals. And my body reacts a little adversely to having those chemicals in there. (surprising, huh?). So far that week was the hardest.

After that weekend, i talked with the nurses at the office, and they were very sympathetic. The suggested some otc meds to try to combat the actual effects, and they adjusted my pre-chemo meds to help my body better handle the influx of the chemo. The third week was better. i was able to do more work from home, and go into work all weekend. It was tiring, but at least it was not as painful.

When i went in for chemo #4, we still discussed a few options to help this week. One of the nurses said that they wanted me to get to the point where chemo was not “disrupting my life.” Wow, if that can happen, sign me up!