Prayers

Does this ever happen to you? You buy a new car. A red suv. Suddenly, that’s all you see. red SUV’s. It’s the same thing with all aspects of life. Everything on tv, radio, around me, is about cancer. How to treat it, who has it, the new food you could eat that cures cancer after watching a video on facebook that may really not have an ending. And believe it or not, this truly happened. i heard a news headline i had never heard before. “Palestinian cancer patient attempted to smuggle explosive materials…” It is really a news story. On April 20.

Unfortunately everything was not so far removed. There have been people in my extended family that have passed away from cancer. My dad’s brother. My brother’s father-in-law. My cousin. My mom’s mom.

But this week i keep thinking about three people that are fighting cancer more recently. My niece’s husband’s nephew, Lane. He just passed away a week ago at age 19 of cancer. He had his whole life ahead of him.
Shelli. i worked with her at SCC years ago. She was only 39. She passed away two weeks after i received my diagnosis.
Debbie. i work with her at SCC as well. She has been fighting for a few years with cancer. She is currently in the fight of her life right now. She has a husband and kids going through this with her.

As much as i am very grateful to God of His provision in my treatment, i find it hard to celebrate the wins when there are others i know who did/are not getting the same. i know that these others who have finished their journey, are home with Jesus. In His arms. And those who are still finishing their journey can see Jesus at the finish line – calling their name. Ready to catch them when they cross that line, swing them around, and celebrate that they are home. That is the best outcome for any of us.
i ask for prayers for the families. The ones that are still here. The parents of the child they buried. The husband who is watching his wife fight this disease.

i know some of you know the people i mentioned. And you probably know many others who are in the same situation. Please keep them, and their families in your prayers.

To God be the Glory!!

How to help

So many of you have offered to help us. Thank you so much! We are so blessed! As i have said, this is going to be a long few months, and we’re still in the beginning. i am sure as we go forward there will be several things we need help with. We still have 6 more weeks of round one chemo, then 8 weeks of round 2 chemo, followed by a surgery/recovery. It will take us up to close to the end of the year.

For now, i have figured out a major place where i need help. Someone to coordinate the help! We need someone who can get the list of things needed, food, rides to chemo, help with dad, the house, etc., and coordinate it with people who are willing and able to do it. Let me know if this is right up your alley!

Cuddles, Casper & Dad. All in their favorite spot.

Best time to contact

Several of you have expressed concern on how to contact me, when is best, etc. i think now that i am in week 6 of chemo, there is a very distinct pattern that has evolved. Rest assured, if you try to reach me and it is a not a good time, i will not answer or return texts right away. Please do not take that personally. As soon as i am able, i will return messages and texts.

So far, the general pattern is:
Monday – the day i get chemo. Depending on how the treatment went, i am either up all day, or sleeping all day.
Tuesday-Wednesday – These are usually my best days. i have energy, and feel pretty good- as close to normal as possible.
Thursday – usually my worst day. If i am having any side effects, it really seems to kick in then.
Friday – Depending on the side effect, and how well the additional meds help, i can feel good, or unstable.
Saturday and Sunday – Usually tired and weak, but otherwise stable. I am trying to work as much as possible, but afternoon is a much better time than morning.

Weekly Treatments (4-6)

Halfway through Round 1! Yay.

The week of #4 was still pretty rough, but was able to deal better with the side effects by Saturday. However the fatigue was so surprising. i would sit down for a while, and actually feel pretty close to normal, except for no appetite and losing some of my taste of course. But when i would get up, I would take about 3-5 steps, and have to stop or lean against something because of the weakness. So i stayed in a sitting position as much as possible! Thankfully that lessened a little near the end of the day on Sunday. Just in time for Monday, and #5.

Monday-Thursday was pretty much what i expected. Friday I even felt well enough to go into work for an event in the morning. However after a few hours at work, one of the two side effects i had been dreading started up. Neuropathy. It feels like i have mittens on, typing is bit harder, but still looks much better than my writing now! My feet and toes have some of the loss of feeling, so it makes my walking a bit more unsteady; i was told about an otc med to help stop it from getting worse. It won’t start getting better until chemo is actually done, but hopefully i can keep it from getting worse. There are other prescription meds, but their side effects are almost worse than the neuropathy, so praying the otc works! i was also advised to start treating my mouth, as a preventive measure against getting the mouth sores. Hoping it will stop it before they start!

Next week it is memorial day weekend, so my chemo is moved back one day. That means my pattern will be moved back one day. AND i meet with the doctor, so hopefully I will get a report on how much the chemo is working. Praying!

Basics-Diagnosis

Invasive Ductal Adenocarcinoma
A tumor approximately 2-3 centimeters.
Fast growing
Triple Negative
Gene test  – negative for gene mutation
Responds well to chemo treatment
Stage 2
Cells have broken through the wall and are out in the body
Chemo is first
-to reduce the size of the tumor,
-and hopefully eradicate any other cells out in the body.
Starting with 12 weeks of Taxol, once a week.
Followed up with Adriamycin & Cytoxan, every other week for 4 doses.
i will lose my hair.
Working with the Norton Cancer Center (A great group of people!!!!!!)

Good News!

The tumor is starting to shrink! on week 4! i don’t have actual figures, because this whole process was moving so fast. But i thought it had gotten smaller. The area around the tumor was very sore when this started, and it was very easy to spot. i noticed around the third week that the pain was not as intense. i was hopeful, but when the physician said it had reduced in size, there was rejoicing! It is responding to the chemo! One of the team described it “as if it was melting away.” All praise be to GOD the Father!! Thank you all for your prayers!

Weekly Treatments (1-3)

The first week of chemo was fairly uneventful, in the general sense. It was really more of a week for me to start learning about this process. i only had a few little things, but nothing that knocked me off my feet.

The second week i had different effects. That is possible. i could have different ones at any given time – everyone is different. The physical aspect of it was something i wasn’t expecting. At least not yet. in my mind, the first few chemo treatments would be easier. Not encroaching in my daily life much – that was for farther down the road. i really didn’t think about the fact that i am being injected with very strong chemicals. And my body reacts a little adversely to having those chemicals in there. (surprising, huh?). So far that week was the hardest.

After that weekend, i talked with the nurses at the office, and they were very sympathetic. The suggested some otc meds to try to combat the actual effects, and they adjusted my pre-chemo meds to help my body better handle the influx of the chemo. The third week was better. i was able to do more work from home, and go into work all weekend. It was tiring, but at least it was not as painful.

When i went in for chemo #4, we still discussed a few options to help this week. One of the nurses said that they wanted me to get to the point where chemo was not “disrupting my life.” Wow, if that can happen, sign me up!

Realities

i’m not sure  what I expected. When you hear the word cancer you wonder what you would do if you ever got that call. i did not react the way i thought i would, and actually, at times, it still seems surreal.

From the moment i found the mass, God gave me and dad an almost unreal peace about it. He has gone before us in so many ways! The people that He has directed in my path have been amazing! Very knowledgeable! Great bedside manner! Moving at a pace that is sometimes overwhelming, but also comforting. They have taken the time to sit with me and explain everything, answering any and all of my questions as best they can. i really feel like there is a team of people that are working with me to beat this.

When i was diagnosed, i did not look sick. Everyone was surprised. Actually, even in the second week of treatment, i still didn’t look sick. At least in public. There were some side effects the first week, but nothing like you see on tv. They were more internal, and a response of my body to the chemo in my system.

Still, i had been reading up on the effects of chemo, and found that sometime between the second and third treatment, my hair would start to fall out. Not in one fell swoop, or even a over a period of hours, but clumps of hair would fall out randomly, over a time that could be a couple of days, or even weeks. So i called one of my best friends, and asked her to go with me to get a buzz cut. i was looking for her to be there for me as a comfort and encourage. She was so much more. She had her hair buzz cut with me! i cannot tell you how much that meant to me. As much as i hate to admit it, it was hard losing my hair at first, however  she made it much easier. But now that it is coming out, i’m ready for it all to be gone. It is coming out in sections, and the top of my head looks like i got caught  a weed-whacker. Not exactly my best look.  i have, well, had, a LOT of hair. Been told that all my life. So even though it has been falling out at a steady pace for about 2 weeks, there is still quite a bit left!

Before I got my hair buzzed, i got an idea. My two “kids” were still sporting their cold weather coats, and dad’s hair was also getting a little long. So i had a friend come over and take “before” pics. All of us with all our hair. Then when i finally go bald, the kids are groomed, and dad get’s his haircut, we are going to do an “after” pic. i promise to put both pics up when that happens.

Why a blog? Why now?

i am an over 40 year old woman (ok, 50+), who has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Stage 2. i have a good prognosis, but that doesn’t make the process i’m about to embark on an easy one.

As a general rule, i do not consider myself a writer, however parts of this blog may be personal. i want to be respectful of those who want to check up on my progress only, and those who would ask the deeper questions, so posts will be sorted into categories.

Also, many people have asked how they can help, so from time to time if there is a need or concern, i will include it. Don’t feel obligated to help, but if you want to, it will be appreciated. At this moment we really don’t know how i will do or react to treatment. But since my dad is just a few months away from his 90th birthday, there will be help needed.

i hope this blog will be information my friends and family, and encouragement to those who are also dealing with a detour on their journey.